H1Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?

H1Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?

It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry! And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose.

h2 Obsoletely Fabulous

Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long. No, just a regular mistake. Who are you, my warranty?! Ow, my spirit! Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?

• In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms.
• I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians.
• When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought “Why should I?” Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film!
• I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually?

h3 Fry and the Slurm Factory

And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Throw her in the brig. Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas! They work here in the Slurm factory.

h4 Bender Gets Made

Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty?

1. Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.”

2. h2 Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?

3. And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

h5 Hell Is Other Robots

Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV. I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want! Daylight and everything. And I’m his friend Jesus. Are you crazy? I can’t swallow that. Well, let’s just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.

h6 Godfellas

I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid.

What are their names? I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool. I wish! It’s a nickel. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged.

h2 Oh right. I forgot about the battle. Bender?! You stole the atom. Say it in Russian!

But I’ve never been to the moon! I love you, buddy! Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.

Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. And when we woke up, we had these bodies.

I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! Is that a cooking show? Moving along…

We can’t compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral! Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Can we have Bender Burgers again? Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. You are the last hope of the universe. Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!

When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought “Why should I?” Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film! Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”! You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first.

Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree. Ooh, name it after me!

h2 Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Oh sure! Blame the wizards! These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. I never loved you. I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe!

You’re going to do his laundry? Daylight and everything. Tell them I hate them. That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him!

Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. Do a flip! Yes! In your face, Gandhi! The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.

Bite my shiny metal ass. Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. Soothe us with sweet lies. Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?

We’ll need to have a look inside you with this camera. Shut up and get to the point! Fry! Stay back! He’s too powerful! Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Daddy Bender, we’re hungry. I’ll get my kit!

No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires! Then we’ll go with that data file! Noooooo!